“Being heard and understood is a rare commodity and virtually non-existent in the world of selling.”
When I first read the quote by Michael Oliver, my thoughts were this cannot be true. It was after taking this short listening test , I realized the truth of the statement. Before reading more of this post take the listening test provided by Michael Oliver.
Why is being heard and understood a rare commodity and virtually non-existent in the network marketing industry? Could the reasons be?
- Ineffective Listening
- The 80 Percent Syndrome
Ineffective listening is the absence of
- OPEN-MINDED LISTENING that listens to the viewpoints of others and to the message and the messenger.
- Putting to one side your agenda.
- Focusing on the other person.
- Asking questions.
- Listening with your heart as well as your mind.
The 80 Percent Syndrome
- 31 minutes telling about opportunity, products or services
- 8 minutes making other statements
- 9 minutes asking questions
- 12 minutes Potential partner talks
When following the 80 percent model results can be disastrous. If you allow your potential partner only a few minutes to get a word in edgewise, the information you receive is naturally going to be inferior to what you would receive if you said less and listened more. Is not effective selling an open communication that will allow all the answers you need to find the core essence of most people.
Seek First to Understand, then to be understood, is the 5th habit in “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People”,written by Stephen R. Covey. What most people do, naturally, when involved in some type of discussion, meeting or dialogue is exactly the reverse – they seek first to be understood. And, as Stephen Covey says, when both parties are trying to be understood, neither party is really listening; he calls such an interaction, ‘the dialogue of the deaf'. This habit is an important key to building a relationship and it seems to be almost magical in its ability to transform the course of discussions. Why? Because by making the investment of time and effort required to understand the other person, the dynamics of the interchange are subtly affected.
In this short (3:04) video Stephen R. Covey demonstrates an AMAZING technique to improve Emphatic Listening.