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Network marketers what is your most valuable ammunition for improving your relationships?

People don’t care how much you know, until they know how much your care.

In network marketing, it is of critical importance to build a relationship with potential partners and team members. Network marketing is definitely a relationship business and each relationship typically starts out with two complete strangers. Good relationships don’t just happen they are built on Trust.

Relationship building is critical because everyone prefers to conduct business with people they know and like. Michael Oliver of Natural Selling says,  “A relationship is born from a desire to understand someone. In return there will be a desire to understand you.  Personalizing your discussion around what is important to others will do this for you.”

Developing any relationship is a process.  In order to cultivate trust you invest time in the process by asking the right questions.  When you show the ability to ask intelligent and relevant questions, your future partner will automatically perceive a higher level of credibility.

There are tons of tips and good advice on how to understand others. This statement “Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood”, from Stephen R Covey centers around understanding others wants, needs and aspirations as well as their motivations and mindset.   Unless we understand them, we can't help or influence the situation, as we don’t see the world through their eyes.

Asking good questions is the most valuable ammunition for improving your relationships.  The famous sales trainer J. Douglas Edwards was among the first to utter this phrase, “Questions are the answers.”  Asking a series of questions respects your potential partners and helps them to make a decision.

In this short (4:56) video Jeff Nischwitz discusses the role of questions and a commitment to helping others in building relationships that will grow your business



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{ 44 comments… add one }
  • Tom Bradley May 26, 2012, 10:12 am

    Awesome points Perry!

    In a world where there is more and more emphasis on attracting, capturing and communicating at arms-length it’s a good reminder that nothing will replace the human relationship.

    People buy from people (they trust…).

    Tom Bradley recently posted..Explode Your Network Marketing Business By Beating Your Addiction To Talk RadioMy Profile

    • padjr May 26, 2012, 11:12 am

      Yes everyday we see more and more information on how you can automatically build a network marketing. People forget that relationships is what makes network marketing a great industry. Thanks for these words, “nothing will replace the human relationship”.

  • Martin Casper May 8, 2012, 3:09 pm

    Personalizing your relationship building through trust and asking intuitive and intelligent questions are critical keys to building a strong cohesive relationship. Focusing on the needs of others will unify that start-up trust. Thanks Perry for those insightful thoughts that you shared.
    Martin Casper recently posted..Sharpen Your Focus The Crossword WayMy Profile

  • Gary Young China Sourcing March 25, 2012, 3:25 am


    Very good post. You are so right that relationships are so important. Building them can be critical and essential. And asking questions is always a great piece of advice. Thanks for sharing.

    • padjr April 13, 2012, 4:46 pm

      Gary, it has been said few things will will pay you bigger dividends than the time and trouble you take to understand people (relationships). Thanks for your comment.

  • Pearly Quah March 20, 2012, 6:21 am

    Hi Perry,
    Excellent post with essential tips for building relationship with team members and business partners.

    Actually, understanding others in your mentioned above is something interesting but such skill is something not easy to acquire. It takes a lot of patience to seek understanding the other person but when this is successfully done, the reward can be great !

    Putting in the effort is a very essential part of relationship building too, I definitely agree with all your tips, Perry !

    Thanks again for sharing.

    Pearly Quah recently posted..Understanding Massage (Part 1)My Profile

    • padjr April 13, 2012, 5:30 pm

      Pearly, you are correct such skills are not always easy to acquire however the process becomes a joy when when we focus on the other persons well being. Thanks for your comment

  • Tom Burt March 18, 2012, 9:26 am

    Hi Perry,
    Excellent article and the reason for my downfall. After talking to Kim Castleberry, she taught me that I was a master recruiter but not a team builder. Yes, I can get a lot of people to sign up, but I can’t seem to grow a healthy organization. That aspect requires the special trait that you are talking about. Asking the right questions. Caring for the individuals success. Getting to know them personally.
    Live and Learn! Thanks Perry!

  • Patricia Gozlan March 17, 2012, 10:12 am

    What a great post, it is true people like to interact with people like them so the best way to establish rapport is entering in their minds and use words to express their worries and fears.
    Rapport is garanteed when what we exprss is authentic and from the heart, selling has nothing to do withthis, client attraction is based on energy on who we really are…
    Thanks for the article and video!

  • Laura Morris March 13, 2012, 11:16 am

    Hi Perry

    Thank you for zeroing in on the exact reasons we really build relationships! I loved this video! Asking questions is the cornerstone of the process yes, and as this great video pointed out it’s all about WHICH questions we ask! It put us in a position of immediate caring and compassion, rather than selling, and that’s always so much better received!!!
    Laura Morris recently posted..Top 10 Ways Ways to Ensure a Growing MLM BusinessMy Profile

  • Brian Lagoni March 8, 2012, 6:11 pm

    Spot on Perry… I think that caring has become the foundation of building any kind of success. This is just our luck that today you don’t have to have deep pockets to become successful you just have to out care every body else. Thanks for sharing

    Brian Lagoni recently posted..Clean Language Interview and Demo With Judy ReesMy Profile

  • Nathalie Villeneuve March 7, 2012, 11:47 am

    I truly enjoyed your post Perry,

    I think this article brought back a very important reason why we connect with people… I just got a big A-Ha moment here today. Thank you so much for sharing these great quotes and video as well… ~ Nathalie
    Nathalie Villeneuve recently posted..Posture = Preparedness + AttitudeMy Profile

  • John Davy March 6, 2012, 12:28 pm

    My first time on your site and you make some really good sense. voice of epxerience I suspect. I think you offer a great reference for all of us that live the networking life

    All the very best

    John Davy
    John Davy recently posted..The Speed Networker StrikesMy Profile

  • Rick Lelchuk March 5, 2012, 12:57 pm

    This very topic is so prominent in my life now I can’t begin to tell you.
    Through my coach I have learned a way to compassionately convert conversations into discovery sessions for my prospective client. They make the discoveries, it becomes their idea what needs to be done and I say very little. I just guide them along through my questions.
    Thanks for a great post!
    Rick Lelchuk recently posted..The Network Marketing ParadoxMy Profile

  • pete chapman March 1, 2012, 12:00 pm

    Hi Perry
    Great post.
    One of the most difficult things I have had to learn is to listen without the answer running. Our minds can race away with us if we do not control our NOW. Which means we do not really listen or see what is really happening to us each moment because we “OWN” our thoughts and let them take us away from reality.
    So when people share their stories we are often reviewing our own and therefore not giving our fullest attention to our prospects, members .

    You have reminded me of this important principle.

    Thank you

    pete chapman recently posted..Meeting The Singapore Kangen Dragons!My Profile

  • Raena Lynn February 29, 2012, 8:23 pm

    Hi Perry,
    You mentioned a very important point in this article, “Relationship building is critical because everyone prefers to conduct business with people they know and like.” That is just the way it is and asking questions is the best way to find out more about a person. Authenticity and really wanting to know more about a person so a relationship can be sown is, as you said, critical.

    So many of us tend to want to speak and share about ourselves, rather than listening and learning about what other people have to share with us! Sometimes we need to be quiet and enjoy someone else’s story. It always comes to the quality of the relationship and trust. Enjoyed the post and video! Thanks!

    Raena Lynn
    Raena Lynn recently posted..Mastermind Partner Program Re-Launch–It’s A Doozy!My Profile

  • Shelley Alexander February 29, 2012, 12:03 am

    Hi Perry, You made some great points about the importance of cultivating relationships with potential partners and team members. Building trust is the key to sustaining long term relationships in business and in life in general. Thanks for sharing and for adding the great video Perry!
    Shelley Alexander recently posted..Why Cabbage Is A Superstar Leafy VegetableMy Profile

  • Lynda Cromar February 28, 2012, 1:13 pm

    It seems to be a lost at to truly listen to understand someone and to ask the right questions. That alone is worth a couple of posts :). I know I need to develop more ability in that area, thanks for this!
    Lynda Cromar recently posted..Daily Routine To Generate Endless Prospects Through Facebook For Your Online Network MarketingMy Profile

  • Donna Merrill February 28, 2012, 12:31 pm

    Great post Perry! I enjoyed the video – plain and simple! That is what I liked about it. When it gets down to it, doing business or any other inter personal relationship, we need to “listen.” There is that art of listening. But where do we start? A question. One simple question, to open up a conversation. People appreciate it when you are interested in them.
    Where do you live? How is your family doing? Simple little questions that you can build upon to get to know who that person is, how they perceive things, etc.
    This helps them relax and enjoy the conversation. Questions can really bring out what that person is about. People do like to talk about themselves, thereby, asking questions is a great way to get them to open up.
    Then, once you get to know them a little better, you can ask “How’s little Johnny?” things like that!
    Questions are a great way to build communication and friendships.
    Thanks for this great post and video.
    Donna Merrill recently posted..Success Is Built On EncouragementMy Profile

  • Edyta February 24, 2012, 4:47 am

    Hi Perry,

    Thanks for very interesting article.
    I agree with you that asking good questions is very important for improving our relationships. We need to understand the problems of our potential clients and give the most suitable solutions.
    Edyta recently posted..Does Panic Away Work? An Honest and Unbiased Panic Away ReviewMy Profile

  • Steve Vernon February 22, 2012, 2:12 pm

    Hi Perry. The principles discussed here apply not only to network marketers but to successfully building ANY business relationship. The focus should ALWAYS be on the other person. We all know that we love to have the attention on ourselves, so if someone is focusing the conversation on us, then we are naturally going to be more open to what they have to offer and will probably be seeking to find out exactly what it is and will be wanting to do business with them.

  • David Merrill February 21, 2012, 10:53 pm

    These are more than good tips, Perry, they are truly Essentials to good networking.

    I think the most important point here is one that marketers always nod to, but rarely apply. You MUST try hard to understand your prospect.

    Only after you’ve done a thorough job here, can you advance to the level of trying to be understood.
    David Merrill recently posted..Twitter Strategy To Drive TrafficMy Profile

  • Clare February 21, 2012, 8:23 pm

    hi Perry,

    Asking questions is all about genuine interest and concern for others! this should be a fundamental skill of life! Network marketing is a business that brings out the best and worst in everyone! Those who become successful leaders in NM have mastered the skills of life!

    it is fun to work out whether a blogger has a genuine heart for sharing and helping others or whether they are writing in order to get SEO rankings and recruit people. If you really care, it will shine through.

    You obviously care, it shines through Perry!

    Clare recently posted..Enjoying the Holistic Health Benefits of Champagne and Dark Chocolate!My Profile

  • Nathan Gurley February 16, 2012, 6:33 pm

    Hi Perry, Nathan here.

    Thank you for the uplifting article! Some of the principals you mentioned remind me of a book entitled, “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie.

    The information you provided here is both helpful and powerful!
    Thanks again, Perry, for a great post!


  • Jupiter Jim February 13, 2012, 8:09 pm


    you are right, questions are so important. How can you help someone unless you know what they want? Then how can you know what someone wants unless you ask them? Or maybe they don’t know what they need, but you can help them find out by asking questions. Some people just don’t need your product and you need to understand that. Some people REALLY need your product but they don’t realize it unless you ask the right questions. Just blabbing about your product does not typically help the client understand the need for your product.
    Jupiter Jim recently posted..Thesis Tutorial: Add Facebook Social Plugin for “Comments” to your WordPress Thesis Theme SiteMy Profile

  • Kostas February 13, 2012, 8:08 am

    Hi Perry,
    Building relations is one of the most important parts of building a successful business, after all it’s all about people no matter if your business is online or offline…
    Kostas recently posted..Creating Collective Virtual OfficesMy Profile

  • Dr. Erica Goodstone February 10, 2012, 10:32 pm


    Everything is about building relationships. When we ask the right questions and show we are truly interested, it can be like a breath of fresh air to someone who has not experienced much of that. We are the relationship builders. We have to do it first then others may follow and reciprocate.If you build a team based upon a sense of relationship, there is a bond that will inspire everyone involved.


    Dr. Erica
    Dr. Erica Goodstone recently posted..Do You Feel As Good As You Look? by Guest Blogger Dr. Barbara HalesMy Profile

  • Kyle February 10, 2012, 9:54 pm


    I just wanted to start with WOW! This was a very uplifting post my friend! This quote “Personalizing your discussion around what is important to others will do this for you.” is a very strong and bold post and it is so true. As long as we keep our discussions real and unique it will keep us true to our selves and others.
    Kyle recently posted..10 Inspiring Quotes from Woody AllenMy Profile

  • Theuns February 9, 2012, 3:10 pm

    Hi Perry

    Good post, they say the dumbest Question that was ever ask is the one you never ask. 🙂

    I agree with you 100% to find out more about a person you need to ask the question, it also help to make that person feel important because you talk about him and not about yourself.

    Al the best with you Question that you ask to your potential customers.

    Theuns recently posted..The Secret is out – The “It’s All About GrAtiitude!” ProjectMy Profile

  • William Earl Amis Jr III February 9, 2012, 1:13 am


    This is a great topic and the video was amazing. That active listening is what everyone needs to focus on. It is one thing to hear people respond to quality questions. Yet, listening actively is key.

    You have found a purpose of having real communication with people daily. To help them from your heart. Not to sell things and just pitch to them.

    We as a community growing more with honest people making it a point to care for others. Helping them in any ethical way to progress in personal and business situations. We will make a difference and more will become aware of what it really takes.

    I thank you Perry for being one who takes action and would not ask others to do what you are not yourself. You really listen to the unlimited people crying for more support.

    Being the great coach and visionary you are. You give all hope that is needed to continue and build real relationships of support. Thanks again.

  • Buddy Hodges February 8, 2012, 7:43 pm

    Hi Perry,

    Wow! Wow! Wow! Hear! Hear! Let me be sincerely honest here. This is one of the most valuable posts I have read in a long time. When I tell you that I totally agree with all that you and the video have said, take it in the context of my 35 years of successful network marketing and entrepreneurship. I know whereof you speak! You are right on!

    Asking questions and listening WTIH TRUE CARING has been the fundamental basis of my many successes in business, in MLM, and in volunteer leadership — which, in turn, have been built on relationships. I am so thankful that I read my father’s dog-eared copy of Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People early and often. Over the years, I credit that book for about a million dollars of gross income and even more valuable relationships.
    Buddy Hodges recently posted..Opportunity CostMy Profile

  • Lynn Jones February 6, 2012, 10:41 pm

    Excellent post and great video! We can learn so much from the experts. The trick is in applying it! It reminds me of the saying, “Where ever you are, be all there.” Being all there when talking to someone really helps you to seek to understand, know, and listen for their need…so you can ask “how can I help you.”
    Thank you Perry,
    Lynn Jones recently posted..What is Your Definition of Success?My Profile

  • Michael February 5, 2012, 11:43 pm

    Absolutely right on. Building a relationship is a process. So many times you hear trainers saying that you have to build relationships in order to have any impact. But the truth is, that building relationships is a never-ending process. It is something you must do all the time. In fact almost every interaction you have in any business dealing is a.

    And I would guess that what we all really want is to build good relationships not bad ones. I think that is the skill that is a never-ending process.

  • Doreen Munoz February 1, 2012, 10:43 pm

    Hello Perry,
    I found you on Twitter and I’m glad I did. I really enjoyed this post and the video. It’s so true that the relationships you make and cultivate along the way are the backbone of your success as a Marketer. I’m following you on Twitter, please keep me in mind the next time you’re looking to follow someone new!
    Doreen Munoz recently posted..Do You Have the Mid-Life Bulge?My Profile

  • John Gaydon February 1, 2012, 5:06 am

    Hi Perry,

    Many years ago, Robert Kiyosaki taught me to ask a question at the beginning of every presentation. By then including all possible answers and acknowledging those with each view, you have the audience’s attention.

    There is no doubt that those who ask the right questions and truly listen to the response have an unfair advantage.
    John Gaydon recently posted..Tim Sales Master Network Trainer Joins AriixMy Profile

  • marquita herald January 31, 2012, 4:00 pm

    Great information Perry. As a coach one of the most challenging lessons to get across is the importance of listening more than talking and asking the right questions. It’s so easy to overwhelm or lose someone’s interest – very difficult to get it back once that happens.
    marquita herald recently posted..Success! Everybody Dreams of it, but What Does it Really Mean?My Profile

  • Julieanne van Zyl January 30, 2012, 4:57 am

    Hi Perry, you’ve picked out some really good quotes, to illustrate your point. I like it so much better when a salesperson asks me what I want, rather than giving me some big speech about all the features and benefits of what they’re trying to sell. I usually “turn off” and try to get away as soon as possible.

    If someone asks me questions and finds out what I really want, I feel cared about and I want to speak with them. Thanks for describing an important topic Perry. Regards from Julieanne
    Julieanne van Zyl recently posted..Branding YOU is Paramount to Long term successMy Profile

  • Andy Nathan January 26, 2012, 1:25 pm

    My philosophy is that A statement can change the conversation, but a question can change the relationship. Questions are so important to being successful.
    Andy Nathan recently posted..Happy Belated 2nd Blog Birthday!My Profile

  • Theuns January 25, 2012, 11:27 am

    Hi Perry

    What a great post .

    I agree with you people need to know you as a person and that you care about them not the other way around.

    So many people just want you to join there Business with out you know them first .

    one good book that people need to read is from Dale G. “How to win Friends and ….”

    Make it a great day

    Theuns recently posted..The Law of Giving — Giving with GratitudeMy Profile

  • Melodie Kantner January 25, 2012, 10:06 am

    Very true. Building trust and relationships is the key to a successful team in this business.
    Melodie Kantner recently posted..Love What You Do Or Do Something ElseMy Profile

  • Nile January 25, 2012, 9:08 am

    The first line of this post says it all. People really do not care if you know everything about a biz…. they want to know if you really care about them. A lot of people cannot get over the fact that engage first and let the sale fall where it may. It all ties in with the saying about people buy from people they like and trust.
    Nile recently posted..WordPress Pages Versus Posts, Which to ChooseMy Profile

  • Tim Somers January 25, 2012, 12:22 am

    This a great post Perry, the relationships I have been able to build over the past 22 years in business have been key to my success.
    Tim Somers recently posted..SendOut Cards Business New Lower Price SendOutCards 2.0My Profile

  • Lynda Cromar January 23, 2012, 1:58 pm

    Really asking the deep questions and then using that to help those you want to help is great, thanks for this video I appreciate what he had to say here. We do have to get deeper, not be superficial. This is the key to those relationships that really create the team you want. I want to understand you, I want to really help you! 🙂 Thanks I enjoyed that video!
    Lynda Cromar recently posted..I Found The Secret Of Taking It Personal In MLM Network Marketing!My Profile

  • Srinivas Reddy January 22, 2012, 6:27 am

    Hello Perry! What a great quote to start off this post with: “People don’t care how much you know, until they know how much your care.” I love it because it is so true. When I look at someone, the first thing I see is their “heart.” Which speaks louder than any words they use. Indeed, we’re living in an age where genuine relationships are more important than ever.
    Srinivas Reddy recently posted..The Prosperity GospelMy Profile

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