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The key to never being anxious about making a good first impression.

Making a good first impression is important in every aspect of  life.  Benjamin Franklin said it best, “First impressions are indeed lasting impressions

We are all aware of the good first impression is rule of thumb.  You only have about 3 seconds to do it.

In his ground breaking guidebook How to Win Friends and Influence People, Dale Carnegie has a chapter, A Simple Way to Make a Good First Impression.  I was re-reading this chapter about the importance of a smile and discovered these words by essayist and publisher Elbert Hubbard.

Whenever you go out of doors, draw the chin in, carry the crown of the head high, and fill the lungs to the utmost; drink in the sunshine; greet your friends with a smile, and put soul into every handclasp.

Do not fear being misunderstood; and never waste a moment thinking about your enemies. Try to fix firmly in your own mind what you would like to do, and then without veering off direction you will move straight to the goal.

Keep your mind on the great and splendid things you would like to do; and then, as the days go gliding by, you will find yourself unconsciously seizing the opportunities that are required for the fulfillment of your desire, just as the coral insect takes from the running tide the elements that it needs. Picture in your mind the able, earnest, useful person you desire to be, and the thought that you hold is hourly transforming you into that particular individual you so admire.

Thought is supreme.  Preserve a right mental attitude–the attitude of courage, frankness and good cheer.  To think rightly is to create.   All things come through desire and every sincere prayer is answered.  We become like that on which our hearts are fixed. Carry your chin in and the crown of your head high. We are gods in the chrysalis.

Elbert Hubbard has given us the key to always having a smile and making a good first impression.   Mr. Carnegie say peruse this bit of sage advice but remember, perusing it won’t do you any good unless you apply it.

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{ 18 comments… add one }
  • Raena Lynn July 1, 2011, 12:25 pm

    Hi Perry,

    I love visiting your blog because you always have great philosophical excerpts from my hero, Napoleon Hill and others, such as Dale Carnegie who probably should get the credit for the works of Mr. Hill. I happen to take a liking to Mr. Hill.

    This is an excellent article and I appreciate you sharing it. A smile makes a huge difference along with eye contact when meeting people for the first time and thereafter. Most people have allowed to be conditioned to look away, ignore, and pretend not to notice others as they pass. I know that when I am out and about and people pass by me, I look at them directly in their eyes, and smile. Guess what? I always get a smile back! I think the eye contact is really important because that is how we connect with other people. Posture of chin up, and carrying your head high portrays positive aura. People pick up the positivity.

    The really important juice of this article is “Thought is supreme. Preserve a right mental attitude–the attitude of courage, frankness and good cheer. To think rightly is to create. All things come through desire and every sincere prayer is answered.”

    Thoughts are powerful and the thoughts we manifest creates our environments. I am learning about how the mind works. The way to manifest is to give your mind the question you want it to answer. For example, let’s take this guy who gliding through the day thinks “Why don’t I feel more peaceful?” His mind reads that as, “You don’t feel peaceful because you are questioning being at peace.” Instead, if he thinks, “I would like to experience the feeling of peace.” So the mind finds ways to fulfill that request.

    My goals are to get to a point when I can “unconsciously seize the opportunities that are required for the fulfillment of my desire.”
    Thank you for sharing this excerpt from Elbert Hubbard. Dale Carnegie gets a little credit too!

    Raena Lynn
    Raena Lynn recently posted..Video Conferencing? TSA iWowWe ReviewMy Profile

  • Paul Reimers May 3, 2011, 10:27 pm

    Thanks for the post Perry,

    It’s been a while since i checked out the Dale Carnegie book. I think I am due for another trip through it!

    First impressions are extremely important. We have a tendency to make up our minds about things very quickly at a subconscious level and then justify the rest with logic. Thanks for showing how to make those first few seconds better!
    Paul Reimers recently posted..Blog Comments and SEO – Are You Rewarding Your CommentorsMy Profile

  • Christine Casey April 1, 2011, 6:56 am

    Hi Perry ~ I absolutely luv this! Just by reading it truly did help me visualize moving into that state…with confidence, a smile for all those that I see, and knowing what direction I’m headed it. I 100% agree that a positive mental attitude is everything! I appreciate you sharing 🙂 Christine
    Christine Casey recently posted..How Can You Make Your Future Bigger Than Your PastMy Profile

  • Ruth McCrackin November 9, 2010, 9:07 pm


    I see you have hit another hot topic…I for one was very cautious on first impressions and embraced being me and love me and I began attracting masses of people who wanted to know more about me….Thank you for highlight Carnegie valuable points with a sprinkle of your way in it. I will be glad to share.

    Much Success,

    Ruth McCrackin recently posted..Goal Setting WorksheetMy Profile

  • Lynn Glaser October 15, 2010, 1:17 am

    Hey Perry,

    I read How to Win Friends and Influence People at the start of the year and I think it’s one that I’ll have to read again, there’s just so many good points in it.

    I love the saying “Smile, even if you don’t feel like it”, it just changes your energy and your mood!!


    Lynn Glaser recently posted..BrainstormingMy Profile

  • Chester Delameter October 6, 2010, 12:23 pm

    Some very good points here. I think a smile is a great way to greet anyone, rather you know them or not. Being yourself is the best way to be too!!!

    Have a Great Day

  • MaryKay Edelen October 6, 2010, 11:31 am

    Hi Perry,
    Great article! I agree with the importance of a 1st impression, they are definitely lasting impressions, and I think a smile is great way to start.
    MaryKay Edelen recently posted..Review Of Camtasia Studio-Video Editing SoftwareMy Profile

  • Mr. Personal Development Michael Berry October 4, 2010, 4:30 pm

    Right on Perry. If I might add one other to your great list. Just be yourself don’t try to be anything your not and don’t worry about what other people think of you. After all, that’s just their opinion and your not going to change it. What is really important is what you think of yourself.

    Thanks for sharing that,

    Mr. Personal Development Michael Berry recently posted..Personal Development SimplifiedMy Profile

  • Deborah A. Ten Brink September 30, 2010, 1:29 pm


    This post was exactly what I needed today! I have been reflecting on the first half of my life and considering how I want the second half to go. During this process, I was confronted by family-in-law relationships where people are very negative towards me without making any effort whatsoever to get to even know me. When I read the quote:
    Do not fear being misunderstood; and never waste a moment thinking about your enemies. Try to fix firmly in your own mind what you would like to do, and then without veering off direction you will move straight to the goal.
    it was a reminder to not waste any energy on negative people and to forge ahead with my goals.

    This is what blogging is all about: sharing, caring, giving value freely without expecting anything in return.

    You helped me today and I’m grateful. Much success to you!

    Deborah A. Ten Brink recently posted..As a New Online Marketer- Do You Leave Your Site Traffic to ChanceMy Profile

  • Linda G. Cox September 30, 2010, 9:30 am

    Oh and Perry,
    I noticed you don’t have Commentluv on your WP blog! I created a post to help you get this free plugin! Check it out here: http://lindagraceonline.com/getting-the-most-out-of-wordpress-commentluv-plugin/
    Commentluv is a way for other people to find you and it’s a gift for other’s visiting your blog of a backlink!

  • Linda G. Cox September 30, 2010, 9:25 am

    I agree, a smile is an easy way to start off a relationship. Whether it walking by a stranger on the street or an old-time friend! Even answering the phone with a smile on your face can be “heard” on the other end!

    The bottom line is it’s all a decision! Thank you for sharing this great post!

  • Robin van der Merwe September 29, 2010, 2:17 pm

    There’s some great wisdom in your post…. loved the part about the smile. I love to smile at people I pass, thinking that it might be the only smile they get that day….. Sometimes, a quick smile in passing is enough to change someone’s attitude for the rest of the day. A little kindness goes a very long way…

    Instead of worrying about what other people might be thinking of us, maybe we should be thinking about how we can make their day a bit nicer….. even for a moment or two…….

    Thanks for a great reminder…..

  • Pearly September 27, 2010, 10:11 pm

    Hi Perry,
    Yes, smile can be powerful in building a faster relationship. I do agree first impression is always important but to get to know a person better, there will come another chance to make a second impression and so on and so forth.

    My opinion is that we need to be interested in people first and get to know a person better before we can determine if we like the person or not. That is why, we can know someone faster if we can first break the ice and make the situation comfortable for each other. Sometimes, we tend to forget about it but when we remember to create a friendly atmosphere, everyone will be happy and everyone will be smiling 🙂

    However, I will agree that the first 3 seconds to make a good first impression is a must when we are out there meeting a person for the first time to have business dealing and that is what I would say, “time to make people like you” and trust you. Its not so much of what you know in the first 3 seconds.

    Thanks, Perry.


  • Emma September 24, 2010, 2:42 am

    Hi Perry,

    A smile is so understated it seems but it really makes the world so much more enjoyable!

    When I go anywhere, I smile directly at strangers and say good day (Bom Dia here in Portugal).
    I live close to a little village and everyone is friendly like that.

    It took a while for the people in the city to get used to me but now, what used to be an unfriendly place is full of people used to me walking by and although I don’t know these people or have said anything except good day we always greet each other with a friendly wave and smile and a Bom Dia!

    It’s incredible the power of a smile.

    Thank you for a uplifting post.

    Kind regards,

    Emma 🙂

  • Pat & Lorna Shanks September 22, 2010, 10:00 pm

    Very cool message… we create our lives by what we focus on. So as is written in the insightful words above… we truly create our own first impression by focusing on the positives that make it great.

    ~ Pat & Lorna

  • tom litchfield September 22, 2010, 12:11 am

    I’m a big fan of Dale Carnegie and his work. Interestingly, his suggestions are pretty standard in my part of the world, which is affectionately known as “The Land of Smiles”, though not many have ever heard of ol’ Dale around here. It’s just a daily part of the culture and philosophy. I guess that what makes working here so pleasurable!

  • Kathy Jodrey September 21, 2010, 8:58 pm


    Yes, a smile is incredibly powerful! I’m reading a book by Nicolas Boothman, Convince them In 90 Seconds (great book, by the way…) that touches on the subject of first impressions. Not only does Mr. Boothman recommend a smile, but also direct eye contact with the people you come into contact with, a warm hello, and body language that models that of the other person.

    Sadly, we tend to judge people without first getting to know them. With that in mind we all need to do our very best to make a great first impression, in order to have the chance to make a good second impression…

  • Joseph McDevitt September 21, 2010, 3:43 pm

    Perry, “First impressions are lasting impressions” Mr. Hubbard said it best “greet your friends with a smile and put soul into every handclasp”.
    Seems like such an easy concept yet many people simply don’t apply it.
    Thanks for the great post perry! Keep smiling 🙂
    ~Joseph McDevitt

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